when your green shell hits someone in mario kart
Calm down febreeze
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My favorite thing ever is when people make plans in front of my face and when I hint that it sounds nice and I’d want to go they don’t bother inviting me ok. Especially when theyre asking people to see a movie with them that I’ve asked them to see with me quite a few times
a haiku for the bus driver who deliberately drove past me
I swear to god bruh
Let me catch you in the streets
Bruh I swear to god
(Source: illmont)
every year i think ive changed for the better but honestly its just a different type of weird and annoying
(Source: octopussoir-)
how do bees keep their hair looking nice?
A HONEY COMB!
bees don’t have hair…
A HONEY COMB!!
(Source: edwad)
- *hears noises at night*: Well I guess this is the end for me, I had a good life
- *gets shampoo in eye*: I guess I'm blind now how am I ever going to see my first born child
- *heart is beating fast*: I think I'm having a heart attack is this what cardiac arrest is
- *a cop walks by*: Here I go about to get arrested I probably murdered someone
- *taking a test*: Don't take your eyes off the paper you will get caught cheating and kicked out of school and become a peasant
- *gets sunburn*: Great now I have skin cancer how will I tell my parents
- *tripping over something*: I guess my leg will have to get amputated why did this happen to me
(Source: badtvblog)
WHY DONT I CALL UP THE GINGERALE HEADQUARTERS AND HAVE THEM BACK UP A TANKER TRUCK TO YOUR MOUTH SO CHAAAAAD CAN DRINK GINGERALE UNTIL THERES NO MORE GINGERALE FOR THE REST OF THE EARTHS POPULATION
About Calm down febreeze
Hi I'm alli I used to have a popular blog among the young whippersnappers but then it got shut down by ~higher authorities~ so I'm running this popsicle joint off my ipad. Hit me up febreeze
